Number 10: Solid Snake
Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series. Yeah, there’s a trend where them people find hot in video games are older and more grizzled, and the women are young and busty just like Mesa prime build in Warframe. Such is the human race. We’re animals. And Snake is no exception! The jaded stealth spy who’s constantly under attack would be a terrible choice of mate, but something about that dangerous energy, the scruff, and you know, the tall, dark, handsomeness, gets people going. Plus, I love playing him in Brawl. But that’s just me.
Number 9: Nova from Starcraft 2
This one might be a bit of a surprise to people, but I have got to include Nova as a Starcraft fan. It was hard to pick between Kerrigan and Nova, but Kerrigan spent a lot of time infested by the Zerg, which is kind of a dealbreaker for me. Nova certainly wears more clothing than other members of this list, but you don’t need to dress like a hooker to be a beauty! All you need is a beautiful face and ridiculously… Although the skintight bodysuit doesn’t hurt. I may have just overshared. Nova can be used as one of the best funny steam names.
Number 8: Benny from Fallout New Vegas
Yeah, I have nothing to do with this one. I told my girlfriend about this list, and after agreeing with some of my male choices, she said, “Oh, put Benny!” Guess she finds him hot. I don’t get it, but the heart wants what the heart wants, I suppose, and her heart wants Matthew Perry. Although I have to say, Benny does have a certain troublemaking charm to him. And a wicked suit. I mean, I guess we shouldn’t be TOO surprised my girlfriend likes bad boys. Look at me. I’m a gang member. I was once punched in the face. Such a bad boy.
Number 7: Juliet Starling from Lollipop Chainsaw
Now before Chris Hanson shows up, she’s18 relax. Juliet Starling had to be on this list since essentially the entire premise of Lollipop Chainsaw is “Look at this hot chick killing stuff with giant weapons and skimpy clothing.” Yeah, it was not the biggest win for feminism, but on the other hand, she’s a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man… all she needs is a chainsaw. So maybe she’s the perfect feminist!
Number 6: Jacob Taylor from Mass Effect 2
This is one of the more dating games on this list, so the graphics on his face weren’t the best, but we don’t give a damn about his face. It’s fine, it’s a good face, but the reason he’s on this list is that body. Hoo baby. When searching for inspiration, I came upon Jacob on many lists, thanks to his rock hard pecs and washboard abs. Whoa. That was weird. I was hoping that would come off funny, but it just sounded… lustful. Oh well.
Number 5: Cammy from the Street Fighter series
Yeah, Cammy needed to be on this list. Anyone who tells me I should have said ChunLi is wrong, Cammy makes her look like garbage. Cammy has the attitude, the butt, the costume, the butt, the eyes, the butt; she has it all! Plus, I friggin love braids. I think they’re great. So get out of here with your Chun Li nonsense.
Number 4: John Marston
Does anyone else hear Bonnie saying “Mr.Marston” every time they see his name? Is it just me? Anyway, yeah, the rugged yet surprisingly sensitive John Marston had had enough of his outlaw ways and turned to the side of good, ish. And he’s got every aspect of cowboys that drive people crazy, from the classic voice to the badass clothes, not to mention the awesome scar. Plus, he has a horse, and if there’s one thing I know about women… they frickin love horses.
Number 3: Jennifer from the Witcher 3
This is the first character from the Witcheron this list. I wonder if you can guess the other one. Jennifer benefits both from being beautiful and being part of one of the most graphically beautiful games of the decade. But on top of the face, the body, and the gorgeous graphics… she has the voice. Yeah, I know some of you might prefer Triss, but I prefer Brunettes, and Jennifer’s voice is too good.
Number 2: Geralt from The Witcher
Yeah, not going to lie; Geralt is a tasty dish. Women want him, men want to be him, and also, men want him. I’m about as straight as they come, all musical theatre aside, but if he was chilling in that bath and asked me to join him… I’d have to think about it! The hair, the eyes, the muscles, the scars, he’s one of the best-looking heroic bad boys around. And since I haven’t used the title in these points: He will turn you on. God, that feels weird.
Number 1: Lara Croft from Tomb Raider
There couldn’t be anyone else at number one. Lara Croft has been the definitive sexy video game babe for ages. She manages to somehow be at once a feminist icon due to her fierce independence and adventurousness and a character that feminists point to prove that video games are sexist since she’s been so sexualized. I won’t get into that, but I think we can all agree that she’s damn fine. I can still remember a Foxtrot comic strip where Peter’s playing Tomb Raider and calls attention to her bazookas… while she’s wielding pistols. It’s crude, it’s obvious, but my goodness, did I find it funny.
