Friendship is essential to preserving our mental health. Our friends can help us remain centred, put things into perspective, and manage life’s challenges.
When we are dealing with a mental health issue, our natural inclination may be to withdraw and avoid our friends. However, friendships can help us deal with the isolation that is frequently associated with mental health issues and help us live with or recover from them. The people who have helped us through adversity are often the ones with whom we end up having the strongest ties.
Discussing your mental health to friends
You might feel embarrassed to “admit” to having a mental health issue. It’s possible for you to feel as though you’re annoying or upsetting your buddy, that you’re afraid of being judged, or that your friendship may end.
You are not required to inform anyone—not even your friends—about this. Consider the people with whom you could feel most at ease. Making a list of the benefits and drawbacks of telling or not informing people about your issue may be helpful.
Despite how difficult it could be, talking to close friends can be beneficial for both of you. Being open about it eliminates the risk of accidently bringing up your mental health problem or “explaining away” medication or appointments, even if the topic isn’t brought up again.
How do I tell my friend?
You could want to play it by ear or practise your first line. Pick a time and location where you both feel at ease. Consider whether:
- whether it is indoors or outside, quiet or noisy
- You’re either alone or with others, such as in a bar or café.
- you are engaging in an activity together, like taking a walk or simply having a conversation.
If chatting to your friend over the phone or in writing is simpler than in-person, do so.
Despite how widespread they are, mental health issues can be challenging to comprehend. Be prepared for your friend to react negatively or be astonished. They might feel uncomfortable and be stumped for words. This can be the case either because they are so concerned about you or because something in your news resonates with something in their own life. They can even say you just need to “get yourself together” and are OK. Give them some time to consider what you just stated.
It might be a good idea to inform your friend about the issue itself but avoid overwhelming them because most people don’t know too much about mental health difficulties. You could present them with a book or website that has aided in your understanding of what you are going through.
Consider getting help from people other than your friends
If approaching a friend doesn’t seem like a viable option, there are alternative unofficial assistance options.
Peer support and self-help groups are frequently beneficial. By talking about your experiences, you can encourage others and get insight into how different individuals handle difficult circumstances.
You may join a group that is focused on a certain activity, like a reading club, chess club, or workout class.
If you don’t want to join a group, consider going to a library, recreation centre, or café where there are lots of people.
Assisting a friend with a mental health issue
If you have a buddy who has a mental health issue, you might worry about them. The most crucial thing is to let them know that you still value their friendship and care for them, whether that comes across in words, a hug, or some other method.
Being available to talk and listen is the most beneficial form of help you can give. It might be quite beneficial to take the time to contact, text, visit, or ask someone over.
Sometimes, mental health issues are misconstrued. It’s crucial to only acknowledge, accept, and treat your friend’s concerns with compassion.
Your friend merely needs your friendship and support; they are not looking for another mental health specialist. Even if you have to modify some of the things you used to do together, they probably want to maintain things as routine as possible (for example, because they feel anxious in big groups or their medication makes them tired in the evenings).
Keep in mind that someone who claims they are fine can actually not be. They might only need to talk, or they might require expert assistance. Men are frequently especially reticent to discuss emotional difficulties.
Some people come to the realisation that they are more of a carer than a friend. You can worry about what might happen if you weren’t there for your friend and feel responsible for them. Admitting this can be uncomfortable and unpleasant for both parties. However, there are steps you may do to take care of yourself and restore the friendship. For instance:
- If you need to, take a break; some alone time will help you feel renewed.
- Set boundaries for the help you can provide. Setting boundaries only means you’re being honest about what you can and can’t do, not that you’re rejecting somebody.
- If you can, split up your role with others. It can be relieving to know that others are rooting for your friend.
- You should express your feelings. Be cautious about how much information you reveal about the friend you’re helping, but talking about your emotions can also make you feel supported.
Whether it is you or your friend who are struggling with mental health issues, it is always a good and viable option to consult a mental health professional, you can also consult a good online counsellor without having the hassle to travel.
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